Lesson 23 放手

Unit 8: Understanding Education
体会教育

第二十三课: 放手
Lesson 23: Letting go

Wénwén cóngxiǎo shìgè guāiguāi nǚ, xuéxí kèkǔ, zūnshǒu jìlǜ.

文文从小是个乖乖女，学习刻苦，遵守纪律。

Wenwen has been a good girl since she was a child, studying hard and observing discipline.



Dàshì xiǎoshì, jǐnguǎn māma biǎoshì yě yào zhēngqiú tā de yìjiàn,

大事小事，尽管妈妈表示也要征求她的意见，

Although the mother said that she would also seek her advice on major and minor matters,



dàn shàng nǎ suǒ xuéxiào, niàn shénme zhuānyè, shènzhì gēn shénme rén jiāo péngyǒu, jīběn shàng dōu shì māma shuōle suàn.

但上哪所学校、念什么专业，甚至跟什么人交朋友，基本上都是妈妈说了算。

it is basically the mother's final say on which school to go to, what major to study, and even who to make friends with.



Kěshì dàole dàxué jiēduàn,

可是到了大学阶段，

But when it comes to college,



qīn'ài de nǚ'ér jìngrán wéifǎnle guāiguāi nǚ de gè zhǒng guījǔ,

亲爱的女儿竟然违反了乖乖女的各种规矩，

dear daughter has violated all the rules of a good girl,



yuè lái yuè yǒu zìjǐ de zhǔjiàn, yuè lái yuè nénggàn, dúlìle.

越来越有自己的主见，越来越能干、独立了。

becoming more and more independent, capable and independent.



Jǐnguǎn tā de chéngjī réngrán shì dì yī míng,

尽管她的成绩仍然是第一名，

Although her grades are still number one,



dàn tā bù zài gānyú dāng “hào xuéshēng”:

但她不再甘于当“好学生”：

she is no longer willing to be a "good student":



Tā táokè qù tīng gè zhǒng jiǎngzuò,

她逃课去听各种讲座，

she skipped classes to listen to various lectures,



chūxí ōuméng shānghuì de jīwěijiǔ huì,

出席欧盟商会的鸡尾酒会，

attended the cocktail party of the European Chamber of Commerce,



zuò zhìyuàn zhě, pāi diànyǐng, xué shèyǐng, pào jiǔbā,

做志愿者，拍电影，学摄影，泡酒吧，

volunteered, made movies, studied photography, went to the bar,



cānjiāle xuéshēnghuì bìng dānrènle xuéshēnghuì zhǔxí,

参加了学生会并担任了学生会主席，

participated in the student union and served as the chairman of the student union,



hái zǔzhī gè zhǒng shèhuì huódòng.

还组织各种社会活动。

and also organized various social activities.



Māma yǐqián yào tā dāng wàijiāo guān de jìhuà, zài tā yǎn lǐ “shízài méishénme yìsi”,

妈妈以前要她当外交官的计划，在她眼里“实在没什么意思”，

Her mother's plan to make her a diplomat in the past was "really meaningless" in her eyes.



tā juédé jīngshāng cái shì zìjǐ de mùbiāo.

她觉得经商才是自己的目标。

She felt that business is her goal.



Tā fàngqìle běn xì bǎosòng yánjiūshēng,

她放弃了本系保送研究生、

She gave up her department’s recommendation for graduate students,



fàngqìle gè zhǒng gōngzuò de miànshì,

放弃了各种工作的面试，

gave up interviews for various jobs,



jiānchí yào qù guówài liúxué,

坚持要去国外留学，

and insisted on studying abroad.



jiéguǒ 12 suǒ shìjiè míngpái dàxué lùqǔle tā.

结果12所世界名牌大学录取了她。

As a result, she was accepted by 12 world-renowned universities.



Dāng miànlín shìfǒu xuǎnzé Niújīn Dàxué shí,

当面临是否选择牛津大学时，

When faced with whether to choose Oxford University,



tāmen quánjiā kāihuì,

她们全家开会，

their family had a meeting.



bàba māma rènwéi yīnggāi qù,

爸爸妈妈认为应该去，

Mom and Dad thought they should go,



dàn wén wén gēn tāmen de yìjiàn bùyīzhì,

但文文跟他们的意见不一致，

but Wenwen disagreed with them,



tā jiānchí yào qù Měiguó.

她坚持要去美国。

and she insisted on going to the United States.



Zhè yīcì māma ràngbùle.

这一次妈妈让步了。

This time Mom gave in.



Tā yǐnyǐnyuēyuē juédé: Zìjǐ gāi wánquán fàngshǒule.

她隐隐约约觉得：自己该完全放手了。

She vaguely felt: she should let go completely.



Méi xiǎngdào, zhèng shì māma de fàngshǒu, ràng fēngzhēng yuè fēiyuè gāo.

没想到，正是妈妈的放手，让风筝越飞越高。

Unexpectedly, it was mother who let go, making the kite fly higher and higher.



Jǐ nián hòu, Wénwén zài Měiguó gōngzuò, māma qù Luòshānjī kàn tā.

几年后，文文在美国工作，妈妈去洛杉矶看她。

A few years later, Wenwen worked in the United States, and her mother went to Los Angeles to visit her.



Zài zhège mòshēng de dìfāng, māmā gǎndào tāmen hǎoxiàng jiāohuànle mǒu zhǒng shēnfèn:

在这个陌生的地方，妈妈感到她们好像交换了某种身份：

In this strange place, mother felt that they had exchanged a certain identity:



Zìjǐ dào xiàng nǚ'ér, ér Wénwén dào xiàng māma.

自己倒像女儿，而文文倒像妈妈。

she was like a daughter, and Wenwen was like a mother.



Tāmen jiànlìle yī zhǒng xīn de guānxì.

她们建立了一种新的关系。

They established a new relationship.



Zuìchū, māma nǎr yě bù gǎn qù,

最初，妈妈哪儿也不敢去，

At first, mother dared not go anywhere,


bùnéng dāndú chūmén,

不能单独出门，

could not go out alone,



bùnéng yǔ rén gōutōng,

不能与人沟通，

could not communicate with others,



shénme dōu yào kào nǚ'ér.

什么都要靠女儿。

and depended on her daughter for everything.



Hòulái Wénwén gōngzuò máng,

后来文文工作忙，

After Wenwen was busy with work,



jiù gěi tā dìtú, chē yàoshi, jīpiào, gǔlì tā zìjǐ chūqù.

就给她地图、车钥匙、机票，鼓励她自己出去。

she gave her a map, car keys, and air tickets to encourage her to go out by herself.



Cóng jiā ménkǒu de chāoshì kāishǐ,

从家门口的超市开始，

Starting from the supermarket in front of the house,



māma yuè zǒu yuè yuǎn,

妈妈越走越远，

mother went further and further,



zuìhòu jìngrán dúzì bǎ Měiguó héng chuānle yībiàn.

最后竟然独自把美国横穿了一遍。

and finally traversed the United States alone.



Tā shuō, shì nǚ'ér de “fàngshǒu”, ràng tā zǒu dé gèng yuǎn.

她说，是女儿的“放手”，让她走得更远。

She said that it was her daughter's "letting go" that made her go further.



Zuò māma de, zhè cái suànshì zhēnzhèng míngbáile “fàngshǒu” de zhòngyào.

做妈妈的，这才算是真正明白了“放手”的重要。

As a mother, this is the real understanding of the importance of "letting go".



2010 Nián 3 yuè de yīgè yèwǎn,

2010年3月的一个夜晚，

One night in March 2010,



mǔ nǚ liǎ tǎng zài Xiàwēiyí de shātān shàng tánxīn.

母女俩躺在夏威夷的沙滩上谈心。

the mother and daughter lay on the beach in Hawaii and talked.



Māma dì yī cì wèi yǐqián duì nǚ'ér de “bù fàngshǒu” ér dàoqiàn.

妈妈第一次为以前对女儿的“不放手”而道歉。

For the first time, mother apologized for "not letting go" to her daughter.



Wénwén chénmòle hěnjiǔ, zuìhòu wěnle māma yīxià,

文文沉默了很久，最后吻了妈妈一下，

Wenwen was silent for a long time, and finally kissed her mother



qīng qīng de shuō: “Māma, wǒ zhēn de hěn xǐhuan xiànzài de nǐ.”

轻轻地说：“妈妈，我真的很喜欢现在的你。”

and said softly: "Mom, I really like you now."



Māma rěn bù zhù liúxiàle yǎnlèi.

妈妈忍不住流下了眼泪。

Mom couldn't help but shed tears.



Tā shuō: “Xìngkuī nà wǎn tiānsè hěn àn.”

她说：“幸亏那晚天色很暗。”

She said, "Fortunately, it was gloomy that night."



Gǎibiān zì “Zhōngguó qīngnián bào”, zuòzhě: Cóng yù huá

改编自《中国青年报》，作者：从玉华

Adapted from "China Youth Daily", author: Cong Yuhua

FULL TRANSLATION:
Letting go
Wenwen has been a good girl since she was a child, studying hard and observing discipline. Although the mother said that she would also seek her advice on major and minor matters, it is basically the mother's final say on which school to go to, what major to study, and even who to make friends with. But when it comes to college, dear daughter has violated all the rules of a good girl, becoming more and more independent, capable and independent.

Although her grades are still number one, she is no longer willing to be a "good student": she skipped classes to listen to various lectures, attended the cocktail party of the European Chamber of Commerce, volunteered, made movies, studied photography, went to the bar, participated in the student union and served as the chairman of the student union, and also organized various social activities.

Her mother's plan to make her a diplomat in the past was "really meaningless" in her eyes. She felt that business is her goal.

She gave up her department’s recommendation for graduate students, gave up interviews for various jobs, and insisted on studying abroad. As a result, she was accepted by 12 world-renowned universities.

When faced with whether to choose Oxford University, their family had a meeting.

Mom and Dad thought they should go, but Wenwen disagreed with them, and she insisted on going to the United States. This time Mom gave in. She vaguely felt: she should let go completely. Unexpectedly, it was mother who let go, making the kite fly higher and higher. A few years later, Wenwen worked in the United States, and her mother went to Los Angeles to visit her.

In this strange place, mother felt that they had exchanged a certain identity: she was like a daughter, and Wenwen was like a mother. They established a new relationship. At first, mother dared not go anywhere, could not go out alone, could not communicate with others, and depended on her daughter for everything.

After Wenwen was busy with work, she gave her a map, car keys, and air tickets to encourage her to go out by herself. Starting from the supermarket in front of the house, mother went further and further, and finally traversed the United States alone. She said that it was her daughter's "letting go" that made her go further. As a mother, this is the real understanding of the importance of "letting go".

One night in March 2010, the mother and daughter lay on the beach in Hawaii and talked. For the first time, mother apologized for "not letting go" to her daughter. Wenwen was silent for a long time, and finally kissed her mother and said softly: "Mom, I really like you now." Mom couldn't help but shed tears.

She said, "Fortunately, it was gloomy that night."

Adapted from "China Youth Daily", author: Cong Yuhua